Lonely Hearts
by Valentine's Riddle
Summary: Man wanted, for Quidditch, Pranking, Espionage and what naturally follows'- Bored in a detention with her least favourite Ferret, Ginny whiles away the time by drafting a Lonely Hearts Ad! My first ever fanfic, be gentle!


Lonely Hearts.

Ginny Weasley was very bored. Detention was always boring, but today's was even more so.

She had thought it a very good idea to blackmail Draco into writing her lines in addition to his own, but hadn't reckoned on the fact that this meant she had to sit in Dungeon 4 with him until he had finished, with absolutely NOTHING to do except count how many pickled eyeballs there were in the jar on her desk. Pickled _eyeballs_. Seriously!

She sighed to herself as she looked at the roll of parchment Draco was filling with the words "Next time I threaten a member of the class with dismemberment I will be dismembered myself". She grinned- that was hers. Draco hadn't started his own yet.

Struck with an idea as to how to make the time pass a bit quicker, Ginny reached for his parchment and ripped off a ten-inch strip. She filched a raven feather quill off Draco, who gave her an evil look, and then began to write.

_Man wanted. _Well, she might as well make her sexuality clear from the start. No nasty surprises later that way. That was the problem with non-gender-specific names- you never knew _what_ you'd end up with. Humming Lola's solo from _Copacabana_, she smiled and continued.

_For Quidditch, Pranking, Espionage and what naturally follows._ No. Did that seem too slutty? Maybe she should describe herself instead.

Ok. Start again.

_Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17, seeks... __The Boy Who Lived._Well, you never know, there could be more than one.

_Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17, will look to meet nice man-_ no, not nice man. She'd end up with Neville.

_Vivacious redheaded Chaser, 17__, seeks born romantic for long walks on the beach, red roses-_ no. He'd cheat on her. Maybe she needed a fresh start?

_Pretty redheaded witch, 17, WLTM likeminded man interested in bondage, pole dancing and sadomasochism for romantic weekend trips and picnics by the lake._She looked at it with satisfaction. Well, at least there would never be a dull moment.

No. She needed more detail. She'd end up with a psycho if she didn't put down her _exact specifications_.

_Pretty, although admittedly very freckly, 17-year-old Quidditch enthusiast WLTM smart and funn__y guy for fun and more.__Must be able to put up with six over-protective brothers, a mother who has more in common with __Cruella__ De __Vil__ than she will ever realise, and a LOT of competition.__Preferably must have own broom, and a flying carpet big enough to substitute for bedroom in case of "contretemps" would be a bonus.__ Must be on the good side so the engagement won't come as too much of a shock. __Warm, kind, funny and able to put up with a nymphomaniac girlfriend.__ Also one or more of the following: handsome/conveniently rich/named Darcy or similar. Must NOT be engaged __with any ongoing battle with the Forces __Of__ Darkness, as it interrupts date times and has no consideration for Valentine's Day. Contact Ginny Weasley in the Gryffindor Common Room._

"Pretty good" said a voice behind her and Ginny jumped. Draco had finished his own lines (100 repetitions of "Hitting girls to prove that I am macho will not gain me any further house points however much I have been provoked") and was reading over her shoulder. Ginny hastily scribbled _No ferrets, platinum blonds or __pureblooded__ bigots_ at the bottom of her Lonely Hearts ad. Draco couldn't help but chuckle.

"Hey, help me do one, Weasley?" he said. "We can't leave 'til Slughorn comes back anyway" Ginny looked at him, eyebrows raised, then took up a new piece of parchment.

_Platinum blond, __pureblooded__ bigoted ferret,__ 18,__ WLTM girl with similar interests- losing at Quidditch, trying and failing to humiliate The Chosen One, sneering, etc. __Must be willing to put out on first date, only wear clothes in green/silver/black._

"That it, Weasley?" smirked Draco. "It's almost Christmas, I'd have thought you'd have put in a bit more effort, in the name of festive spirit if not because you actually like me" Ginny laughed.

"well, what do _you_ want me to put, Malfoy?" He pretended to think for a moment.

"Oh, I don't know... 'Must be able to fight off legions of Vivacious Redheaded Admirers', or perhaps 'Must be willing to _share_ with a pretty redheaded admirer, and give up all claims to the Ferret on Valentine's Day so he can go on a _date_ with said Redheaded Admirer'?"

Ginny looked at him, smirked, and scribbled down a last sentence on the page, at which point Slughorn came in, looked at the notes, and dismissed them. She handed him the parchment and left before Draco had a chance to read what she had written.

_Must also have face like pit bull terrier__, as said__ ferret loves girls who are totally out of his league._


End file.
